Todays Blog is about me with a little about Mom.

Where to start? I know the first thing I would like to tell you, is that I am a Wiccan/Witch, I also follow the Greek Goddesses and Gods, with emphases mainly on The Mother Goddess Artemis who is my Matron Goddess and Dionysos Zargareus God of the Thracian's, who is my Patron God. I follow the Modern Calender and believe the Goddesses and Gods understand why I do not use the Hellenic Calendar. I am a Solitary and do all my Rituals in the nude, or Sky clad, I cast a Circle and when I don't I ask the Goddess and God to protect me and keep all the Spirits and curses away from me. Like most who Worship Dionysos today, I believe that sex is a part of worshipping him, and since I am a Solitary, I do what I think is pleasing to him. I almost forgot something, I am also Gay and love being able to let myself go when I am worshipping the God Dionysos, he was and is after all what we call today Bisexual, and had sex with Immortal Gods and with Mortals. Wine is sacred to him, as is the Grape Vine, Fennel, Common Ivy. Artemis and Dionysos are as real to me as Jesus is the the Christians and as Allah is to the Moslem's. This may surprise some of you , but I believe all men and women are born Bisexual and that it is the Christians, Jews and Moslem's who believe the men were put on this earth to have sex with only women, and the women to have sex with only men, they seem to have forgotten that most animals at one time or the other have sex with other males and the females have sex with other females.

Now something about mom and how she has been doing. She stayed in bed all day yesterday, but did get up this morning to take her medicine, ate her breakfast and then after I changed her sheets, she went back to bed and is not sleeping here at 1:33 PM. She was confused this morning, and kept hitting the arm of her Wheel Chair, and telling someone to stop that, you are going to hurt yourself, part of the time her words were slurred and I could not understrand what she was saying but her Yes and No's were plain and I could understand them. I think the reason she is sleeping most of the time now is because she has given up and doesn't want to be a burden to me any more. she also believe's no on wants to be around her anymore because she is sick and has also decided she wants to die. She has not told me this, but I am sure that is the way she is thinking and since I am the only one taking care of her, I have gotten to know mom really well over the last three years.

No Sleep.

Mom did not sleep last night and I only got about 4-5 hours of sleep becauae of it, which I am used to since once a week she will not go to sleep at night, then when she does she sleeps for two days. She is confused as usually and thinks dad left her for another woman, she can not or does not want to remember that he passed away almost 14 years ago of a heart attack brought on my his cancer. She also thinks eveyone in the family doesn't love her anymore and does not want to come and see her. I do not blame her in thinking that way since she do not come and visit the way they used to when we lived on the farm, and even the consin who comes and helps me hasn't been here in a week or two, said her was sick and didn't want to give what she had to mom.

I forgot to add a Photo of my cat Samantha Sue this last week so here it is now, I love her and miss her so much,  She was and will always be my Baby Girl.

What has happened today, July 5th.

Today has been an uneventful day, or at least by everyoones else's standards it would be. Mom seems to be in a great mood, and remembers my name, which means something to me since she has not been remembering it here for a few weeks, she calls me everything by by my first name, which is, Rodger, or by my nick name Roddy. sometimes she calls me Jake, sometimes Jackie, sometime John or George, or Pete, or whatever else comes to her mind, Today though she has been calling me using my full name, Rodger Dale Campbell, or Roddy Dale Campbell. She is also still in bed here at 10:17am and doesn't want to get up, but I will be getting her up here in a short while anyway, since she needs to take her Medicines and eat Breakfast. Right now she is calling for Jackie, who I believe is one of the Women she used to work with at the Hospital.

Nothing much happened here yesterday, Mom stayed in bed and slept part of the day, while I worked on my Computer and around the house, right now I am washing some cloths, and here after while I will dust and vacumn the living room. Tomorrow I am going to do a late Spring-Early Cleaning of the Kitchen and try to get everything in order so we can at least see what the counters look like, I hate a dirty house and Kitchen, and haven't been able to clean it the way I have wanted. I also can not seem to find anyone who will come and keep the house clean for us, no one wants to do it anymore. I will close this for now and write somemore either later this evening or sometime early in the morning telling you how mom did the rest of the day. Until then so long and have a safe and happy day.

11:10am. I had to add this, those of you who know anything about Alzheimers will know why I am writing this, Mom remembered my name, not only that she said it, which I think is neat and cool.

Mom and I and my Cat.

Mom slept real good last night, even though she went to sleep about 12am, she woke up at around 9am this morning, she has been confused but then that is normal for her now. My Dad's 2 sister's Louise and June alone with Louise's daughter Kay came by this morning and stayed for a few hours. My Cousin Pauletta came by about 2:30pm and gave mom a shower, Paula, mom's niece came by at around 4pm and stayed for about an hour, so we have had a busy day here, and mom is wore out and should sleep great tonight.

My Cat Samantha Sue passed away sometime last night, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I am still shook up about it, she was my Baby Girl, I got her when she was about 6 weeks old and she followed me around like a dog through out the house. She also slept with me every night and it is going to seem strange not having her in bed with me tonight, this may seem strange to some, but I put one of my shirts, her favorite cat food, and some Catnip in the box with her. I plan on burying her in the Front Flower bed, and then planting some catnip and maybe a Yellow or Red Miniature Rose there this next Spring, that way she will also have flowers on her Grave and I will be able to talk to her when ever I want. She hated kids, but loved being around people When we were rebuilding the house after the fire, we put some beams across the living room, Samantha would walk the beams and then sleep up there where it was dark. She loved setting on the Second Floor landing and watchibng us while we were in the Living Room, either watching TV or visiting with whoever was there at the time. In a way, I guess I should have expected her passing away anytime, she was after all about 18 years old, and had lost a lot of weight the last few months and weeks, she was my Baby Girl and a part of my family, and I will not be able to replace her, but sometime in the future I will adopt another Cat, and I hope and pray She/He is a good natured and loves me as much as my Baby Girl did.

Today's Happenings.

I could not get onto the Internet this morning because something was wrong, it took me from 7am until a little after 12pm to get it so that I could, mom then took up most of my time until around 2pm when a cousin came by and stayed with mom so that I could go to Walmart and pick up a few things. Bought a Cast Iron Dutch Oven, a Cast Iron Skillet, and some Nicoderm CQ stop smoking patch's, It is going to be hard on me stopping since I have been smoking for almost 30 years now. This is going to be a short blog, but I am tired and need to get to bed, it is 5 minutes before 12am and I am usually in bed by now. Blessed Be Both Thee and Thine.

Mom hasn't slept in 24 hours.

Mom has been awake now since yesterday morning, and it doesn't look like she is going to sleep anytime soon, I know she is fitting sleep by calling her favorite brother's name every other breath. She has been up twice today, and eaten both time, and will want up again here in a short while and will have a snack of cookies and milk. When she calls her brother's name, I go in to see if she needs something and she settles down. to me it means that she wants me in there with her all the time, and doesn't want to be left alone in a room. She has told me that she is afraid of being alone, and doesn't know why.

Right now she is calling for Gideon, and doesn't know who he is, so I had better go in and see if it is me. It wasn't, she just called the first name that came into her head.

I have learned from reading about Alzheimer's that no two people who have it are the same, one might be violent, and lash out out his or her caregiver, while one might be still, mom's is all together different, she sees her Mom, Dad, brother's and sister, as well as my dad, and all of them have passed away. Sometimes she thinks we are living in her Grandmother's house, then sometimes she thinks she is in either a Nursing Home, Boarding Home, or a Hospital and is surprised to learn we are at Home. She also cries for no reason and doesn't know why, she also gets really confused and thinks dad left her for a younger healthier women, I have started going along with it, and have stopped reminding her that he passed away in 1997 of a heart attack brought on by the cancer he had. I learned something this last week, and was surprised to her mom say it, she never did accept that dad was gone, and wished he could come back and be with her now.

One of dad's sister's went out this last week and put some flowers on his grave, they also drove by the farm, and were surprised the new owner had a pond put in in this one little valley, She told me that it towered over the road and they had Security Camera and light all around it to keep the locals from fishing there. I am sure the Locals do not like it and do not like the new owners of our Farm, but then I am sure they do not care, since they only bought the farm to have someplace to come and hunt during Deer Season.